Company Anniversary Gifts

"So that is unanimous then - nobody has a clue what to do."

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"I always cry at mergers."

"We couldn't hire the cybersecurity candidate you sent us, he was saying too many scary things about our computers."

'Sales figures don't lie. Stevens, hand over the big, foam, number one hand to Toelson.'

'So how motivated are you feeling now.'

"Excellent Simons, I admire a 'yes' man who's not afraid to say 'yes'."

"Chewing gum at a business meeting, Clara? I trust you brought enough to share."

"When they divided the office into shirts and skins, it was too macho a corporate culture for me."

"I'm regretting that I offered him free lunch instead of an increased salary!"

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

'I remain confident we will pull out of this nose dive.'

'I'm miserable... but only for competitive purposes.'

Jetsgo out of business.

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

'Well, our company has got a praiseworthy history. Dukes, Counts, members of the parliament, famous artists, leading industrialists... they already sued us!'

CEO thanks workers and reminds them that the meek shall inherit the earth.

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

'What wine goes with an enormous expense account?'

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

"All those in favor of eroticizing our annual report 'aye.'"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

Shepherd and eurydice