Corporate Anniversary Gifts

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'That went well.'

'But before we move on, allow me to belabor the point even further...'

Three office doors: 'Idea People,' 'Make It Happen People,' and 'Make it Like This Never Happened People.'

'I used to lead by example, but it was too much work.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'That's our mission statement.'

'I second the motion that we keep a low profile.'

"I gotta admit, he's one hell of a negotiator."

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'It has all the comfort of a regular jet, but it's invisible to shareholders.'

'I can live with you not wanting to push the envelope, but your refusal to think outside the box...'

'I've moved from being cautiously optimistic to being optimistically cautious.'

'So that's three 'yes' and two 'no' and one 'maybe yes maybe no'.'

"Now at this point reality intruded."

Technology - Not High Tech, Not Low Tech, But Just the Right Tech.

'I agree, let's increase the dividend instead.'

'Thanks to our exensive cost-cutting efforts, we managed to turn a profit.'

"How does this sound: 'Single, nearly solvent company seeks relationship with like-minded, prosperous multinational.'"

It turns out people aren't buying our product because it's stupid.

"My firm has scrutinised your accounts and determined you could save a fortune by the sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!"

'I love the sense of teamwork.'

'Then the meeting was adjourned because a squirrel ran past the window.'

'The first order of business is the problem of absenteeism.'

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'This merger isn't going to work!'

'You gotta admit, these meetings are more exciting since Ed developed the Pyro Power Point Presentation!'

'Now this is my kind of green!'

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."