Corporate Milestone Celebration Gifts

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

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'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"