Corporate Milestones Gifts

"I found this sales plan from 1977. Maybe I can dust it off and substitute it for the current one."

Thank You, Goals Achieved... and then some!

"The man who manages the worker."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"We have an acronym!"

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow