Milestone Celebrations Gifts

Happy Birthday!

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

Pilot with champagne.

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Gary turns 40.

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

Pearly King and Queen

Do you think I'm sixty?

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"Careful."

Babies first words are 'Take me to your leader'

An old man exercising with hourglasses

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

Aging Problems

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

Attic of hopes and dreams...

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"It makes you look old."