Milestone Birthday Celebration Gifts

"Of course 50 is the new 49!"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

Gary turns 40.

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Pearly King and Queen

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

Evolution of the Birthday Party.

"Careful."

Do you think I'm sixty?

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

An old man exercising with hourglasses

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

Aging Problems

Dog Birthdays

Attic of hopes and dreams...

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

Vegetarian Birthdays.

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."