Milestone Birthdays Gifts

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

Before and After.

Age Cards.

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

Seven ages of man - young, old young, young middle, middle, old middle, young old, old.

Jell-O: A Life.

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

There's no physiological reason I'm sleeping less as I'm getting older. I just need more time to find my glasses.

'This was on my bucket list.'

'I'd say you're a little late...'

Pencils aging

57th Birthday balloons

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Gary turns 40.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

Pearly King and Queen

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

Do you think I'm sixty?

One!

"Careful."

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

Babies first words are 'Take me to your leader'

An old man exercising with hourglasses

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Old Wine in an Old Bottle