Celebrating A Milestone Birthday Gifts

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Gary turns 40.

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

Pearly King and Queen

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

Woman crying with happiness.

'Guess what? I won again.'

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Careful."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

Aging Problems

'I'm fighting ageing.'

Vegetarian Birthdays.

Attic of hopes and dreams...

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'You're getting older... it's a common complaint.'