Celebrating Milestone Age Gifts

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Gary turns 40.

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

Church Basement Foodie

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

Pearly King and Queen

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

Do you think I'm sixty?

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Careful."

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

Attic of hopes and dreams...

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

Aging Problems

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'You're getting older... it's a common complaint.'

"It seemed a given that my bucket-list should include an actual bucket."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."