Age Milestone Gifts

Remember when it was just your horizons that broadened?

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whol

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"One year closer to college!"

Cardiac Recovery.

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Gary turns 40.

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Church Basement Foodie

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"Careful."

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Do you think I'm sixty?

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

An old man exercising with hourglasses

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

Aging Problems

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

Attic of hopes and dreams...