Age Milestone Gifts

Remember when it was just your horizons that broadened?

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"One year closer to college!"

Cardiac Recovery.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Gary turns 40.

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

Church Basement Foodie

Do you think I'm sixty?

An old man exercising with hourglasses

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

"Careful."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

Aging Problems

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

Attic of hopes and dreams...

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"