Age Milestones Gifts

Beware - Baby Boomers Turning 40.

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"When did she start crawling?"

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Church Basement Foodie

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

Medication for the elderly

Sparkler

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'We think he has a future in politics.'

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

'Take this drug...you'll be ten years younger.'

Who's Dead

'They're young hares, so it's OK for them to be a bit crazy in March, but thankfully, we've grown out of that!'

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"