Adult Child Milestone Gifts

Adult filmstrips

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'At lone at last.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'Baby's first two-step.'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

Church Basement Foodie

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

One!

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"It makes you look old."

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

Eagle parenting.

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

Medication for the elderly

Sparkler

"Technology is for babies!"