Child's Milestones Gifts

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'At lone at last.'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

Eagle parenting.

Sparkler

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

Dominant hand reveal party

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

'We think he has a future in politics.'

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

"Our little girl has blossomed into quite the little complainer."

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'What do you think you're up to?'

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

'How old? He's 14 months, 3 days, 7 hours and 16 seconds... 17... 18...'

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."