Child Milestone Gifts

"Darling! He's walking!"

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'At lone at last.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

'Baby's first two-step.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

Sparkler

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Eagle parenting.

Dominant hand reveal party

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

Jewish Hall of Nachas

"Our little girl has blossomed into quite the little complainer."

'They're young hares, so it's OK for them to be a bit crazy in March, but thankfully, we've grown out of that!'

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

"I'm too old for baby limas."