Child's Milestone Gifts

'Look daddy,look! I'm exactly 3 feet tall!' (a child foot getting measured for height).

"Look, dear! This isn't childish nonsense - Junior's written his first password!"

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

"Okay! I'm letting go! Just stay straight! Do not get hurt! Your mother will never forgive me!!"

One!

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

"I'm too old for baby limas."

'Look Mummy: I've pu on my shell all by myself...'

Eagle parenting.

'Her first telekinesis!'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"Worthy of an Oscar don't you think?"

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'At lone at last.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

'Baby's first two-step.'

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"We're hoping that someday Rosalie will be a major player in the creative economy."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

"It makes you look old."

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

Sparkler

Dominant hand reveal party