Celebrating Child's Milestone Gifts

'I bronzed his first pair of running shoes.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'At lone at last.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Baby's first two-step.'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

First Steps

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

Eagle parenting.

A very fine vintage

Sparkler

"Congratulations! You've told the same joke one thousand times!"

'Every day son, I feel on top of the World!'

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

"I'm too old for baby limas."

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

Proud Mum.

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

Still crazy after all these years.