Celebrating Child's Milestone Gifts

'I bronzed his first pair of running shoes.'

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'At lone at last.'

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

One!

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

First Steps

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

Eagle parenting.

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

Sparkler

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

A very fine vintage

"Congratulations! You've told the same joke one thousand times!"

'Every day son, I feel on top of the World!'

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"I'm too old for baby limas."

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

Proud Mum.

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

"Worthy of an Oscar don't you think?"

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."