Toddler Milestone Gifts

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

'At lone at last.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Baby's first two-step.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

One!

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

First Steps

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

Dominant hand reveal party

Eagle parenting.

Sparkler

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

'We think he has a future in politics.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

'What do you think you're up to?'

"I'm too old for baby limas."

'I bronzed his first pair of running shoes.'

'How old? He's 14 months, 3 days, 7 hours and 16 seconds... 17... 18...'