Toddler Milestones Gifts

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

The No No No's

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'At lone at last.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Baby's first two-step.'

One!

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

'Guess who's teething?'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

Dominant hand reveal party

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Sparkler

Eagle parenting.

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

'What do you think you're up to?'

"Worthy of an Oscar don't you think?"

'How old? He's 14 months, 3 days, 7 hours and 16 seconds... 17... 18...'