Child Development Milestone Gifts

"She's already on adult coloring books."

Dominant hand reveal party

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'At lone at last.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Baby's first two-step.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

'It took years of therapy before I became the Bluebird of Happiness.'

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Eagle parenting.

Sparkler

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

'How old? He's 14 months, 3 days, 7 hours and 16 seconds... 17... 18...'

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

"I'm too old for baby limas."

'What do you think you're up to?'

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"