Child Learning Milestones Gifts

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"When did she start crawling?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

One!

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

Dominant hand reveal party

Sparkler

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Eagle parenting.

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

"Mommy wants you to know where your food comes from."

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

"Worthy of an Oscar don't you think?"

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

'What do you think you're up to?'

"I'm too old for baby limas."

It was time for Junior to learn to fly.