Adult Child Milestone T-Shirts

Adult filmstrips

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'At lone at last.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

Church Basement Foodie

'Baby's first two-step.'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

Eagle parenting.

Dominant hand reveal party

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

Medication for the elderly

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

'We think he has a future in politics.'