Childhood Milestone T-Shirts

'Now that you're 10, we can tell you the truth: beauty isn't actually in the eye of the beholder, there are international standards... and you haven't met them.'

'What is it? It's your first PIN number!'

"I won't enumerate my trespasses. You know my work."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Look darling, she's forgot her first password."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Haircuts

Sparkler

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

'Don't you think he's a little to young to take up fishing, Ralph?'

'Don't worry about it - It's perfectly all right for boys to eat Girl Scout cookies.'

Girl asking her little cousin what he would like for his birthday

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

"Do that again, but cuter."

"We brought Charlotte one of those special video messages from Nigel Farage."

"Dear Grandma, thank you so much for my birthday gift! My very first fountain pen!"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'At lone at last.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Baby's first two-step.'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

Dominant hand reveal party

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Eagle parenting.