Turning Milestone Age Gifts

"It appears that while others grow older and wiser, you're just growing older."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Gary turns 40.

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Church Basement Foodie

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Careful."

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

Aging Problems

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

Social Networking.

Attic of hopes and dreams...