Turning Milestone Age T-Shirts

"It appears that while others grow older and wiser, you're just growing older."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

Gary turns 40.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

Church Basement Foodie

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"Careful."

One!

Do you think I'm sixty?

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

Aging Problems

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

'I'm fighting ageing.'

Social Networking.

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

Attic of hopes and dreams...