Milestone Birthday Gifts

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'I've reached that age where I've given up on Mind Over Matter and am concentrating on Mind Over Bladder.'

'Admit it,Oliver-you're getting old.'

A cruise ship parks as part of birthday cake.

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'

The Difficult Journey of Life.

See no evil, Hear No Evil, Speak no evil. . .

Dave wanted to make sure that he'd be able to blow out all the candles on his cake.

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

"Oh God, I'm almost 30..."

I'm Aging Gracefully...so SHUT UP!!!

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"125 is the new 100."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, babe.'

'She was 50 years old and still didn't show her age...The same could not be said of her husband.'

"Birthdays are like life... The more you have, the more enlightened you become."

'Turning eighty? Come on, you're still a youngster: I'll turn one hundred and twenty next month...'

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Ah, the ecstasy of moving all the right muscle groups."

Aging Sign # 23: you're dehydrated and yet up peeing all night.

"Remember when we used to feel sorry for people our age?"

The aging process can play some cruel jokes on your body!

"Marie, are you still driving?"

'Oh, to be 75 again!'

"Should we slow down because we're getting older or hurry up because we are not getting any younger?"

'I may rust, but this sunset will be worth it.'

'Life passed me by without using a turn signal.'

Lots of people would consider me young...if they were alive today.

'Rough day. My favorite song popped up on the oldies station.'

'Well Philip what's my present? You know what they say about girls and diamonds.'

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

'You're in good shape for a man of 60.' - 'Pity I'm only 40.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."