Anniversary Of Company Founding Gifts

"The first one was the hardest."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

How leaders fail

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

Team Leader

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

"Who called this meeting again?"

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

Networking

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

The Salesman

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

Dating is so expensive...

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."