Business Merger Gifts

'I'm confident that with the right mix of role-playing exercises and prescription medication we'll make a cohesive team.'

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

'Gentlemen, I have every confidence that our merger will prove to be highly compatible and harmonious.'

'I thought we'd get a merger agreement, so I arranged for our accountant teams to be on hand.'

'This is where we merged our 'creative' and 'accounting' departments.'

' Even though you can't make heads or tails out of it, let me assure you, it is, heads we win, tails they lose.'

The merger almost didn't go through.. I had to throw my wife in.

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

'We're doing great trade with China - they've bought the company.'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

"I expect you're all wondering why I called this meeting?"

'Tug-of-negotiation and conciliation'

'It's okay if don't want to give us control of your company. We're perfectly capable of living with incredible disappointment.'

Agreement

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

'Our first mistake was hiring an honest accounting firm.'

"We can't merge again. Our letterhead already takes up the entire page."

'Consolidation is tearing us apart.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

Coming to an agreement

Before The Merger.

'Mommy, you'll never guess what. My hi-tech start-up just merged with a Fortune 500 company.'

"Send in the press, we've completed the takeover."

Beer companies merge.

Untrustworthy partner

"Well, T.R., all that remains to be done is change our Facebook status from 'in a relationship' to 'merged.'"

'Of course, we're family-owned & operated in India.'

'I propose a merger!'

A Business Deal: Not everyone is pleased!

"...And please let the merger do through!"

'He's ruthless and greedy... so let's make sure he's on our side.'

'We'd like to merge two business lunches.'

'I hear they bought out Winken, Blinken and Nod.'