Business Merger Enthusiast Gifts

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

'He's ruthless and greedy... so let's make sure he's on our side.'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

"Nobody wants to merge with us."

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

"Benign so far."

'I'm confident that with the right mix of role-playing exercises and prescription medication we'll make a cohesive team.'

Business Partners' vows

'It's okay if don't want to give us control of your company. We're perfectly capable of living with incredible disappointment.'

"I always cry at mergers."