Merger Enthusiast Gifts

'I assumed when we merged that we'd have our own desk.'

Business Partners' vows

'Our only hope is a merger so we can become too big to fail.'

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"You've explained why the merger is good for shareholders, investors, and suppliers - the only ones you haven't mentioned are the customers."

"I always cry at mergers."

"And do you, Forbrush Industries, take Smuthers Manufacturing?"

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'

'I think they're overdoing this merger business.'

"Do you, Scofield Industries, take Amalgamated Pipe?"

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"I have to take three a day - they curb my appetite for gobbling up companies."

"Well, the merger is over, now the takeover starts."

'You're Jenny from accounting, right? I'm Brad from purchasing. How about a little merger?'

'I wouldn't recommend you two merging, unless you believe that mating two turkeys will produce a butterfly.'

"So many acquisitions lately ... should we be worried?"

Comcast-Time Warner Cable Merger

'We've gone into partnership.'

Snow White, Inc...formerly, 7 Dwarfs Mining.

'I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people to set up a meeting on a merger.'

'I'm all in favor of merging, but how tacky can we get?'

'This has been a test. Had this been an actual corporate takeover...'

Supermarket Merge

'We'd like to merge two business lunches.'

"Sharon, will you merge with me?"

'Thanks to anger management, my hostile takeovers are friendly mergers.'

"I've been working remote so long I didn't know my company has been bought and sold three times."

'I definitely like the idea...why don't I have owners contact your owners?'

'Wow, another failed merger!'

'Just sign your approval for the heliport and we can both go about our business.'

"Takeover rumors are abating, sir!"

Gentlemen, don't think of this as a corporate takeover, it's a corporate makeover.

'Mergers on the Horizon'

Teaching evolution in the business schools.