Company Sale Gifts

"The worst thing about selling 51 percent of my company is that I can't walk around like I own the place."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

"Are you sure you haven't overvalued the worth of your business?"

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

"We're still the same, great company we've always been, only we've ceased to exist."

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

"I always cry at mergers."

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

'I told you I'd deal with your transfer request, Jenkins. Cut the deck!'

"Potential buyers of the company are coming through today. Tell everyone to look sharp and put a few bowls of potpourri here and there."

'The buildings are merging.'

Last Chance for Everything.

'Cards for all occasions: takeover, buyouts, mergers, flotation, bankruptcy.'

'We've decided you should go think outside the company.'

'Do you think you can turn the company around without making us all dizzy?'

'First, I'd like to welcome the presidents of the two internet networking companies that just merged with us.'

'I lost my shoe, but I got my foot in the door.'

"I can't decide which I'd rather do- make a twenty-billion-dollar bid of turn down a twenty-billion-dollar bid."

'I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people.'

'My mother is always bugging me about finding a nice company for merging.'

"He assured me the merger is nothing to worry about."

"I've been working remote so long I didn't know my company has been bought and sold three times."

'The hostile takeover wasn't as bad as I'd imagined. They hired someone to supply nuance.'

"All this for getting out when the getting was good."

'I've put the business up for sale.'

'Man, I hate it whenever some big conglomerate comes along and decides to check us out!'