Company Closure Gifts

"We're still the same, great company we've always been, only we've ceased to exist."

'I told you we were in trouble financially. Our building has been repossessed.'

'I hate to do it but I have to let you go, Ma.'

'At least they offered us a severance gift card.'

'The good news is, I've got no more trouble with my stupid boss and grumbling customers. The bad news is, our company is insolvent and I'm jobless.'

Factory closed. The 1st CEO got most of it, as a bonus, when we fired him. Ditto, the 2nd CEO, and the last CEO got what was left.

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Kentucky Fried Horse

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

'We're e-bankrupt.'

Sales

Small Businesses Go Under.

Line on graph goes right through floor.

"Mr. Joyner, while you were out, your carefully constructed financial empire collapsed like a house of cards."

'Dairy herd for sale. Going out of business. All prices include cut and wrapped.'

'What a wonderful day to declare chapter 13!'

Bookshop: Closed, Coming Soon Here Internet Cafe.

'We've decided you should go think outside the company.'

"Can I dress business casual even though I lost our business?"

Mom & Pop General Store - Going Out of Business Slowly But Surely

"According to the most recent report, we have no recourse but to abandon ship."

"The worst thing about selling 51 percent of my company is that I can't walk around like I own the place."

"Of course, I'm not suggesting that you should also bail."

'Business is very good. We'll soon be moving to smaller premises.'

Theater Owner Who Refused To Convert To Digital Projection.

'Hey, when you announce pay cuts like these, you've got to expect a few howls of protest!'

'Watson, I don't think you appreciate the gravity of the situation,'

'I've just thought of a way to save the company £1800 a month.'

'The facts speak for themselves: My opinion however is in the accompanying letter with your redundancy package.'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'I've put the business up for sale.'

Rats Flea a Sinking Ship

'And here is the effect spiraling energy costs, reduced consumer confidence and limited access to credit is having on our company.'

'Everyone's feeling a little overwhelmed. They've doubled our workload without increasing the size of our staff.'