Company Closing Gifts

'Your call would have been important to us before we went out of business.'

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

Kentucky Fried Horse

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

"We're still the same, great company we've always been, only we've ceased to exist."

'Behind every great business deal is a company lawyer advising against it.'

Sales

Line on graph goes right through floor.

Small Businesses Go Under.

'We're e-bankrupt.'

"Mr. Joyner, while you were out, your carefully constructed financial empire collapsed like a house of cards."

'Dairy herd for sale. Going out of business. All prices include cut and wrapped.'

'What a wonderful day to declare chapter 13!'

Bookshop: Closed, Coming Soon Here Internet Cafe.

"Can I dress business casual even though I lost our business?"

'We've decided you should go think outside the company.'

Mom & Pop General Store - Going Out of Business Slowly But Surely

"According to the most recent report, we have no recourse but to abandon ship."

"The worst thing about selling 51 percent of my company is that I can't walk around like I own the place."

"Of course, I'm not suggesting that you should also bail."

'Business is very good. We'll soon be moving to smaller premises.'

Theater Owner Who Refused To Convert To Digital Projection.

'I've just thought of a way to save the company £1800 a month.'

Shop signs: then vs. now

'The facts speak for themselves: My opinion however is in the accompanying letter with your redundancy package.'

'Watson, I don't think you appreciate the gravity of the situation,'

'Hey, when you announce pay cuts like these, you've got to expect a few howls of protest!'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'I've put the business up for sale.'

Office conversation

'Everyone's feeling a little overwhelmed. They've doubled our workload without increasing the size of our staff.'

Rats Flea a Sinking Ship

"My hunch is heads will roll."

'Does that mean things are getting better or worse?'