Going Out Of Business Gifts

Mom & Pop Shoppe: Going Out Of Business (Not that it's your fault).

'What a wonderful day to declare chapter 13!'

'Dairy herd for sale. Going out of business. All prices include cut and wrapped.'

The Store That's All Closed-Up

'The numbers don't look quite so bad along with the hard liquor.'

'Watson, I don't think you appreciate the gravity of the situation,'

Going out of business sale.

"Your business doesn't quite need forensic accounting, but hospice accounting might be in order."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

Kentucky Fried Horse

"We're still the same, great company we've always been, only we've ceased to exist."

"And here you see where we successfully concluded the merger to everyone's mutual benefit."

Line on graph goes right through floor.

Small Businesses Go Under.

Sales

'We're e-bankrupt.'

"Potential buyers of the company are coming through today. Tell everyone to look sharp and put a few bowls of potpourri here and there."

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

'Our company has hit an icebery and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

"Mr. Joyner, while you were out, your carefully constructed financial empire collapsed like a house of cards."

"Can I dress business casual even though I lost our business?"

Mom & Pop General Store - Going Out of Business Slowly But Surely

"According to the most recent report, we have no recourse but to abandon ship."

"I can't decide which I'd rather do- make a twenty-billion-dollar bid of turn down a twenty-billion-dollar bid."

"The worst thing about selling 51 percent of my company is that I can't walk around like I own the place."

"Of course, I'm not suggesting that you should also bail."

'The facts speak for themselves: My opinion however is in the accompanying letter with your redundancy package.'

"How's that pub landlord thing working out?"

'I've just thought of a way to save the company £1800 a month.'

'Hey, when you announce pay cuts like these, you've got to expect a few howls of protest!'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'Business is very good. We'll soon be moving to smaller premises.'