Convent Fan Gifts

Non-Fiction / Nun-Fiction

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"I'm having my entrails read."

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Tell the salesman to come back later, I'm busy.' (black and white).

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'Sire, we fixed that problem in the sales department.'

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

Pre-Minstrel Tension

'When did we permit the Jester to start doing impressions?'

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

Knighthood being given by the king

"Your remote control, sire."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

Knights Wing Mirrors.

'Quit throwing dinner plates, Gentle Jesus.'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"It's the battering classes"

Don Quixote is recorded by Sancho Panza.

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

Watering can helmet.

'...Love, honour, obey, and wipe that silly grin off your face?'