Medieval Fan Gifts

'Tell the salesman to come back later, I'm busy.' (black and white).

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Guess which one is the cell tower."

Soldier surveys castle ruins, saying: 'With hindsight, it was ambitious calling it a 'keep'.'

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

'The barbarians are at the gate!'

'Raise your right hand if you wish to help us with our enquiries... SPLENDID!'

'Being a royal court jester hasn't just been all glitz and glamor you know. Oh sure, there's been a lot of laughter on the outside but tehre's been a lot of crying,dysentry,cholera,gout and bubonic plague on the inside.'

Richard I of England

Don Quixote is recorded by Sancho Panza.

Good morning! My name's Julian, and I'll be your torturer today!

'Whoa...crushing the will to live and an illusion of full employment! You really are ahead of your time, Igor.'

Edmund II

Staff Picks: Torture Tools

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

"It's the battering classes"

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

'Well, you DID tell them to work within the system.'

'King Arthur's Court? I think it's that way. This is King Arthur's Boulevard.'

Richard II

A Mouse about to be executed with a Mousetrap.

"My mistake. It was the mailman."

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

Dog owners should act quickly to address the problem if their dog bites them.

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

"According to my latest poll, Sire, it's eleven in favor of continuing the Crusade and eight thousand in favor of returning home."

Agincourt 1415

Kinda late to bring in a Castle Managment Consultant.

Tricking soldiers attacking with a battering ram.

"You may rush in."

"He's his own worst enemy."

The ill fated Trojan hamster.

King Harold II

"What about the writers? Nobody ever blames the writers!"

Edward the Martyr