Medieval History Fan Gifts

"I'm sorry, there's nothing at the moment for impalers."

"Castle."

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

'So this is your idea of 'quality father-son time'?'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

Lohengrin

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"The knights of the round accent table"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

Joust Sharpener

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

TV jester.

"Early model of baggage claim"

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"What the hell took so long?"

"Oh great, the printer is down."

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.