Medieval Times Fan Gifts

'I know where you live!'

'You and your 'Hey, don't worry, the King is going to love this April Fool's joke'...'

'Another failure to communicate?'

The First Crusades - 1096

"I just couldn't take all that clanking any more."

"Edward the Good? Well, Eddie, we'll be the judge of that."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

London Bridge before Clearance of Buildings

'Don't worry -- he's a trained professional.'

'Don't go too far -- You're only a regional superpower, you know.'

Tallest building in medieval times.

'How was I supposed to know that the 'G' in 'Charlemagne' is silent?'

"On a personal note, the lads and I thought your satirical essay on his majesty was hilarious."

"What the cuss are those serfs doing here?"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

Joust Sharpener

TV jester.

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"The knights of the round accent table"