Medieval Times Fan Gifts

'I know where you live!'

'You and your 'Hey, don't worry, the King is going to love this April Fool's joke'...'

'Another failure to communicate?'

The First Crusades - 1096

"I just couldn't take all that clanking any more."

"Edward the Good? Well, Eddie, we'll be the judge of that."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

London Bridge before Clearance of Buildings

'Don't worry -- he's a trained professional.'

'Don't go too far -- You're only a regional superpower, you know.'

Tallest building in medieval times.

'How was I supposed to know that the 'G' in 'Charlemagne' is silent?'

"On a personal note, the lads and I thought your satirical essay on his majesty was hilarious."

"What the cuss are those serfs doing here?"

"I just acquired absolute power and you've had it for quite a while now, so tell me... When does the absolute corruption start kicking in?"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Knight feeding his kids.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

Joust Sharpener

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."