Medieval Culture Fan Gifts

"I say we should admit him to our order. He's devout, humble, and he has an amazing secret formula for peach brandy."

Notice in window of Times Gone By shop - Shoplifters will be Hung, Drawn and Quartered

Dante Alighieri

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

Knight feeding his kids.

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

Joust Sharpener

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

TV jester.

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Early model of baggage claim"

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

Knights of the bedside table.

underwater knight

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'