Medieval Fantasy Fan Gifts

"Take away their Game Boys!"

The only thing those two ever defeated was the purpose.

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

'Your task will be to save the castle from catapulted rocks.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Early model of baggage claim"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

'Tell the salesman to come back later, I'm busy.' (black and white).

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

Knighthood being given by the king

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

"Your remote control, sire."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

'Sire, we fixed that problem in the sales department.'

'When did we permit the Jester to start doing impressions?'

Pre-Minstrel Tension

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

Medieval Office Supplies

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."