Medieval-fantasy Aficionado Gifts

Hilarion

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Knight feeding his kids.

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

TV jester.

Joust Sharpener

"The knights of the round accent table"

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

Knights of the bedside table.

underwater knight

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

Car joust.

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.