Fan Of Medieval Stories Gifts

"But I only restarted it three minutes ago."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

A dragon relaxing in a chair staring at a taxidermy knight's head above his fireplace.

'Your task will be to save the castle from catapulted rocks.'

"Mummy was right: - I should've married the dragon...!"

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

"I'm sorry, there's nothing at the moment for impalers."

"What do you mean slight margin of error?"

A knight struggling to fit into his armour

'No big deal -- I'm just going over to Parliament to break a tie.'

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

Lohengrin

"Hey!! Look!!!"

"Take away their Game Boys!"

'I'm drawing up a contingency plan just in case -- how would you like to drive the getaway car?'

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

Dante Alighieri

"I say we should admit him to our order. He's devout, humble, and he has an amazing secret formula for peach brandy."

"They were fine with tyranny, cruelty and oppression, but you really pissed them off when you rooted for the wrong football team."

Hilarion

Didn't anyone tell Bob this is a surprise attack? Will call.

'There's no business like show business.'

Oh, don't hurt it. Can't you trap it under a glass, or something?'

'I TOLD you to try diplomacy first!'

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight..."

"Make him one!"

'What I like about working for Castle.com is the long term stability.'

The only thing those two ever defeated was the purpose.

"It's your therapist, my lord. It's time you let down your walls."

"Oh no, I'm not the Lady of Shalott, I'm just the Lady of Plain Old Onions."