Medieval Enthusiast Gifts

Well la de da. . .

Norman Wisdom 1066

'I have no time to see a salesman, I've got a battle to fight.'

'Tell the salesman to come back later, I'm busy.'

'Look, if this fails we'll still have to do business with them, so try to be subtle about it.'

'Before we begin, I'd like to say a few words about the concept of 'defence mechanisms'.'

"Nice going. That was one of our guys, just trying to clean out the gutters."

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

'We don't call it torture anymore - it's occupational therapy!'

'1066 - The Battle of Hastings - Harold gets history's biggest "something in the eye".'

"Wait! Has anyone done a privacy impact assessment?"

'News from the battlefield, sire. Our army was declared victorious. However, the Huns have challenged that rulling and it is currently under review...'

'Tell me your innermost feelings!'

'Is that the firewood we ordered or are we under siege?'

"I welcome the discussion."

"Remember what I said...keep an eye on the arrows!"

"Looks like Lancelot's starting an arms race."

'I'll calk that hole as soon as the siege is over.'

'Have you ever thought of trying contact lenses?'

Battering ram is a giant key to unlock castle doors.

"Sire, they also want dental."

'Medieval Studies is going nowhere without a 5-year strategic plan.'

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

'I hate cold calls.'

'You know this is my first battle.' - 'Really? Mine too.'

"On the one hand, I know I could make more money if I left public service for the private sector, but, on the other hand, I couldn't chop off heads."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather just get the vaccine?"

"My lawyer will hear about this."

Air boulder.

"Look who's forgotten their keys again!"

Knights of the Round Table: 'So - pizza again?'

Harold II

"All I'm getting out of him is a lot of profanity."

Coat of Arms

"All right...hands up who loathes the welsh"