Medieval Enthusiast Gifts

Well la de da. . .

Norman Wisdom 1066

'I have no time to see a salesman, I've got a battle to fight.'

'Tell the salesman to come back later, I'm busy.'

'Look, if this fails we'll still have to do business with them, so try to be subtle about it.'

'Before we begin, I'd like to say a few words about the concept of 'defence mechanisms'.'

"Nice going. That was one of our guys, just trying to clean out the gutters."

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

'1066 - The Battle of Hastings - Harold gets history's biggest "something in the eye".'

'We don't call it torture anymore - it's occupational therapy!'

'News from the battlefield, sire. Our army was declared victorious. However, the Huns have challenged that rulling and it is currently under review...'

"Wait! Has anyone done a privacy impact assessment?"

"Remember what I said...keep an eye on the arrows!"

'Have you ever thought of trying contact lenses?'

"Looks like Lancelot's starting an arms race."

"I welcome the discussion."

'Tell me your innermost feelings!'

'Is that the firewood we ordered or are we under siege?'

'I'll calk that hole as soon as the siege is over.'

Battering ram is a giant key to unlock castle doors.

'Medieval Studies is going nowhere without a 5-year strategic plan.'

"Sire, they also want dental."

"On the one hand, I know I could make more money if I left public service for the private sector, but, on the other hand, I couldn't chop off heads."

Air boulder.

Early Battering Rams

'I hate cold calls.'

'You know this is my first battle.' - 'Really? Mine too.'

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather just get the vaccine?"

"My lawyer will hear about this."

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

"Look who's forgotten their keys again!"

"All right...hands up who loathes the welsh"

'Nice try, Lancelot, but I don't think the real Holy Grail has a picture of Harry Potter on it.'

Harold II

"All I'm getting out of him is a lot of profanity."