Medieval Enthusiasts Gifts

Escalator joust.

'Hey! -- Don't go adding disclaimers!'

"Don't forget to call it a 'procedure'—it makes it less scary."

'I'll have to go back to the shop for a sword.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Message on an arrow with a 'P.S.'

'Why did Robin Hood only steal from the rich?'

'None shall pass!'

'Spread it on, lick it off.'

"Little do they realize we no longer serve good King Frederick the Peacemaker but his son, Olav the Homicidal Maniac."

"I blame violent tapestries."

Geoffrey Chaucer

'My kingdom for a ramp!'

Lady Godiva - the first scantily clad advertising model.

'How would you like to be VP of Medieval Thinking?'

Damned Garage Door Openers.

'...But first, please join us in singing our national anthem...'

'Be a pal and flick that fly off my nose.'

'Have you been fighting again?'

Medieval King

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

"It's very convenient." - The 'must have' for a knight in the pub.

"They say they're sorry, but they're etween relationships right now."

Any Alms Any Arms An arm-less Medieval panhandler.

Don't worry his majesty with all this talk of 'big city lawyers'.

'Now, THIS is my idea of live entertainment.'

'Ooh....you've got a text message!'

'Think about it Saladin do you really want it? I have read the stars.'

"Seventh inning stretch already?"

"It's okay, dear - I'm fighting for PEACE!"

"Before it's too late, Dad, I want to take the opportunity to say 'I love you.'"

"Do you have it in a relaxed fit?"

"Move along. We're practicing social distancing here."

"Well, Jester... The king laughed at even your cheekiest jokes but covering his pizza with pineapple was way too much!"

Lovers