Medieval History Buffs Gifts

'My foreign policy isn't working -- write me up another one.'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"It started as a normal joust until he met me with some sort of damned parry-riposte."

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Joust Sharpener

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

TV jester.

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"What the hell took so long?"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Oh great, the printer is down."

Knights of the bedside table.

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

underwater knight

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

The Beard in the Stone