Medieval History Geek Gifts

'So let me get this straight. Instead of our kingdom we now just have a horse?'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Einsteiners.'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Knight feeding his kids.

"The knights of the round accent table"

Joust Sharpener

"What the hell took so long?"

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

TV jester.

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

underwater knight

The Beard in the Stone

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.