Medieval Lore Geeks Gifts

"They call me wicked but knights are my only source of protein."

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

Lady of the bath...

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

Joust Sharpener

"What the hell took so long?"

The Beard in the Stone

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Oh, the armor is state of the art

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

Once you get the shells off they're really quite tasty.

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

The princess and the key

Beware of the Dragon

'Oh, I hate when this happens! What do you do when you get a song stuck in your head?'

Unicorn Joust

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

"I hate when he stays late on the throne just to avoid the tension at home."

Medieval sculptor hits thumb while carving a gargoyle.

"Moat? No - sump pump crapped out."

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.

"At least you didn't get the axe."

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

"They have a wonderful author-editor relationship."

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia." "That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries." "That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages." "What was your conception of the Middle Ages?" "Well... It was... Well, knights, maidens, dragons... Mostly dragons. And elves."

"Knock, knock! Sorry to interrupt, but we have this room at noon for a budget meeting."

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

"I'm sorry, this is all very embarrassing but we've decided to open a pub together."