Medieval Lore Geeks Gifts

"They call me wicked but knights are my only source of protein."

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

Lady of the bath...

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"What the hell took so long?"

Joust Sharpener

The Beard in the Stone

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

Once you get the shells off they're really quite tasty.

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

The princess and the key

Beware of the Dragon

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

"I hate when he stays late on the throne just to avoid the tension at home."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

'Oh, I hate when this happens! What do you do when you get a song stuck in your head?'

Medieval sculptor hits thumb while carving a gargoyle.

Unicorn Joust

"At least you didn't get the axe."

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

"They have a wonderful author-editor relationship."

"I'm sorry, this is all very embarrassing but we've decided to open a pub together."

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

"I got a job for the king!" "Shirley, you jest!"

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia." "That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries." "That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages." "What was your conception of the Middle Ages?" "Well... It was... Well, knights, maidens, dragons... Mostly dragons. And elves."