Medieval Lore Lovers Gifts

Ingoldsby Legends - Page Boy Drowned in Barrel

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

Lady of the bath...

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

Joust Sharpener

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

"I'm sorry, this is all very embarrassing but we've decided to open a pub together."

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

Mermaids

"The road head is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

'I'm drawing up a contingency plan just in case -- how would you like to drive the getaway car?'

Friendly Troll.

'I'm Smallfoot, Bigfoot's cousin!'

A knight dragging an unwilling maiden

"Dragons were never out of style."

Night of the Round Tables

Our menu is legendary. Really? Do you serve leg of Sasquatch? That's my favorite legend! Menu.

'He's been like that since he pulled the sword out of the stone.'

Early Reading Group . . .

"They call me wicked but knights are my only source of protein."

"I'd like something smaller – something with fewer walls to defend."

Oh, don't hurt it. Can't you trap it under a glass, or something?'

Dragon BBQs.

"She definitely has your neck bolts."

'End the war? Are you kidding? He's not even at peace with himself.'

'Dungeons aren't SUPPOSED to be user-friendly!'

'Voyeur!'

Fighting dragons is tough, but the worst part of this job is getting dressed on a cold morning!

"Can you move your pot of gold so that I can sit down please?" "Kiss me Blarney stones!"

A bearded man holding a sword