Medieval History Enthusiasts Gifts

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Knight feeding his kids.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"The knights of the round accent table"

Joust Sharpener

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"What the hell took so long?"

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

TV jester.

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'Are we there yet?'

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

underwater knight

'One more curse out of you, young man, and it's right down to the principal's office.'

The Beard in the Stone

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Knights of the bedside table.

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'