Confusion Connoisseur Gifts

"Bitcoin Explained"

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Not an Entrance/Not An Exit

'I have no idea what you are saying.'

Joke traffic signs.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Here, There, Everywhere.

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'I used to be a don't know but now I'm an even more confused.'

Mass Confucian

'I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.'

Way In and Way Out.

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

The following is a paid political obfuscation.

Line Forms Here / Line Ends Here.

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"

'What's the matter, Bob? You have that puzzled look.'

Gerald Tried To Understand His BT Bill Breakdown...

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

'Okay, I admit it - your conspiracy theory was right!'

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

'Who are you and what do you want?'

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."