Confusion Aficionados Gifts

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

"Abra-Viagra."

"Returns"

World Championship Mime-Off -'HEYYY! He's in a REAL box!!'

'I understand night and day, but which came first?'

The Fascinating Language of Ambivalence, Decoded.

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Mass Confucian

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

"Riddle your salad with pepper, sir?"

The Great Banzinni discovers the oldest trick in the book.

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"

'Surely somebody must know why we're here?'

Joke traffic signs.

"I'm just saying, isn't it a bit early to be 'the present moment'?"

'No, I thought you were John Simpson.'

"What? The invitation said, wear your favorite mask."

"I made a nice zucchini bread."

"Mr. Hazlett is in conference right now. Would you care to see his evil twin?"

'I propose we trade services - you cure me of my delusions and I'll protect your navy.'

'I have no idea what you are saying.'

Exit next left. No, my left.

"Why does February only have twenty-eight days? Why is the sky blue? Why are boys so yucky? Why do we have little toes? Why..."